How much weight is too much?

It’s been another week of summer break and I can’t tell whether I am busy or not. When I look at my schedule, each day seems to have either a single meeting or absolutely nothing listed. However, I feel pretty busy, so I am in the strange position of not being sure either way. 

Perhaps part of my confusion is that, although it’s not necessarily on my calendar, I worked at the bar three nights this weekend in addition to spending a day attending a wedding. I always enjoy working at the bar, but this weekend was interesting. Two of the three nights were  incredibly slow; the other night it felt like the entire town was in the bar and wanted not only a drink, but also pull tabs. I was running around with my head cut off so much that night that a familiar customer told me a couple times to “just breathe, everything s going to be alright.” It was nonstop pretty much all night, so I don’t feel as if I did “just breathe” until after 1 a.m., when we could no longer serve drinks. 

On one of the slow nights, I was bringing up cases of beer to stock. I iusually carry two cases just because I can and it saves time. When I did that the first time, one of the older gentlemen told me I shouldn’t be carrying two cases because I was in my child-bearing years. That gave me pause, at least partly because the phrase seemed so old-fashioned. I assured the gentleman that I work out and am strong enough to do it, my back isn’t bad enough yet to give me a reason not to. 

Speaking of working out, I finally bought a summer membership to the university’s gym today. My apartment building has a gym, but it’s pretty small and I often discover one piece of equipment or another is broken. I’m hoping that spending money on this will actually motivate me to go, even though I find it a bit daunting. I went this morning and felt surrounded by buff men in cut-off t-shirts. And there’s little ol’ me in my athletic shorts and old t-shirt, unlike other women in their tight matching workout sets and spandex. I don’t know, I just don’t think I would be comfortable in outfits like that, you know? I’m excited to continue my workout journey now that I should have more time, though. A guy once told me at the bar that I had the perfect figure for body building; I couldn’t decide whether or not to take it as a compliment and enjoy that thought, or to be weirded out that he was looking intently at my body. I don’t think I would ever go into bodybuilding though. I already have a bad body image as it is, and those people have to watch everything they eat and are seriously concerned about their body almost to an unhealthy degree. I’ll just continue writing, thanks. 

Speaking of, I know I mentioned last week that I was thinking about getting another part-time job just for fun and to get a little more money, but honestly I think I might hold off on that for a while. I am quite enjoying not working all the time. Livin’ la vida loca, am I right? 

My Determination: “The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.”

― Frank Herbert, Dune