Juggling everything of life, even on vacation

Sometimes the hardest part of my week is coming up with what to write about in this column. 

I have a journalism friend from college who currently works at the White House in D.C. He recently started sending out email blasts to select family and friends who wanted to be a part of his updates about life. I guess that is what my column is—an update to all my family and friends and those in the community who choose to follow along with my life adventures. 

 

So…my life. 

 

As you know if you happened to read last week’s column, I was in Minnesota for about a week over the Fourth of July holiday. I spent a lot of time at the lake, playing pickleball, eating good food, and–as always–working. It was such a blessing to spend some quality time with my family as I got caught up with the woes and joys of their lives. I didn’t sleep enough and drank way more caffeine than I normally do, but it was all worth it.

 

Towards the end of my time at home, I was starting to get more and more anxious. Less about the flight home, but more about everything that was going to whelm me when I got back to Denver. Work at the magazine was changing me from salaried to hourly, so I had to now figure out a better schedule. I hosted book club the day after I got home and overthought what was all needed to go into a taco bar and whether my apartment actually was host-worthy or not (I forget I live with a boy and the place has some boy-apartment vibes), and I was stressing about everything else. Would I ever get enough sleep? Did I need to fix my diet? When was the last time I worked out? Did the apartment look ok for when Jack came home from his vacation? 

 

You know how anxiety is. If you don’t, bless you. 

 

It was unfortunate that I was at the cabin up north of Brainerd when this started to get to me. The cabin has always been a haven from my anxiety, even if it’s just for the few days that I am there. Maybe others feel the same for their cabin getaways, but it has always been a place of peace and rest and joy for me. For a few days, I can just enjoy life and be in the moment, and being with family helps. 

 

So when I started feeling anxious, I stepped into the water and let the waves wash over me. The water was warm, the sun was hot, and the breeze blew the hair off of my face. I felt like a main character in a movie having her moment as I tried to rationalize my anxieties and let the waves take them away. Then I realized I was alone at the lake and wanted to spend time with the people I love while I am still here, so I stepped back out, leaving all those worries in the water. I felt like the character in Game of Thrones who is a priest for their sea god—he goes into the water and listens to the waves, listens for the words of his god. 

 

Now, the idea of washing my troubles away might sound cheesy as all heck, and I’ll be the first to admit that it is. But it also worked. Maybe not for everyone, but for some, cheesy works. 

 

My Determination: “But people will do anything rather than admit that their lives have no meaning. No use, that is. No plot.” ― Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale