Taking life into my own hands and making change

The amount of Goldfish I’ve eaten this week is diabolical. 

 

Jack and I bought the Costco box of cheddar Goldfish crackers; inside the box are three large bags filled with little Goldfish. I feel like a child as I fill a small bowl almost every time I eat. It’s just so yummy.

 

But maybe I’m enjoying them so much because I’ve also just been enjoying life. 

 

Earlier in the week, I was getting sad and stressed about not having any friends here that I can just hang out with. While Jack says that I think way too much about things (I do) and that he has no idea how I live with it, it was really getting to me. So I decided to do something about it. 

 

I reached out to a girl from bookclub that I clicked with and asked if she wanted to do anything this weekend. Thankfully, she responded and said she did! We set up a time to picnic on Sunday with another girl from our bookclub. It turned out to be an enjoyable and fulfilling time. 

 

And then on Thursday, before picnicking, I got invited to go out to a line dancing/country bar. It was a Thursday night, and I only knew one person going, so I debated with myself before deciding that if I was lonely, I was being presented with an opportunity to fix that right here. So I went and had a great time. 

 

Thursday was ladies’ night, where you get in with a $20 cover charge, but then all the drinks for women were free the rest of the night. I walked in and was immediately presented with a sea of people in cowboy boots, jeans, and cowboy hats. While it gave me a little feeling of home in the big city of Denver, the best part was the dancing. 

 

In the middle of the joint was a large dance floor in front of a stage that had live country music. The dance floor was half filled with line dancers and half with couples swing dancing. My love for dancing immediately drew me there as I watched couples swing around and around, and people of all skill level line dance to fun country songs. I even participated in some line dances, learning quickly for some and not as quickly with others. But people didn’t seem to mind me stumbling around trying to catch up with the turns, skips, and claps. 

 

To add to my desire to do something about my loneliness, I had the pleasure of going out on Saturday as well. Jack and I attended the Boulder Creek Festival during the day, where we had free tickets courtesy of my work to go to the beer festival, where we got to drink as much beer as we wanted for two hours. Then later that night, we went out with some of Jack’s friends to Broken Bow, a new bar downtown. I know I’m still young, but I swear I feel old as my body tells me the next morning how much staying up until four in the morning is in fact not the greatest idea. 

 

All this to say I was lonely, and then I did something about it. As someone who usually takes life as it comes, it felt nice to realize that sometimes, you just have to take matters into your own hands. It was a good reminder that if you want change, it starts with you. I didn’t realize how much I needed that reminder to take my life into my own hands and do the things I want to do. 

 

My Determination: “Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful.” ― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein