Where have manners gone?

Well, I have finally started working at the paper again! No longer am I just writing columns from some far-away places telling about my adventures and what is happening in my life–which isn’t much just now. 

As some of you may know, along with working at the paper, I tend bar at a bar in Faribault. (It’s owned by my aunt and uncle, otherwise I might not take the time to drive all the way over there a couple times a week.) This past week while working at the bar, a number of people said things to me that threw me off and even–at one point–made me uncomfortable. For example, one guy asked me what I was studying in school. I told him that I was going for my journalism degree. He then proceeded to rant angrily that journalism is brainless and that everything is fake and how stupid it is and such. Normally, I wouldn’t mind, but he continued on and on and even started on me, asking how stupid I was for choosing that major and claiming I would never make any money or accomplish anything. I eventually had to walk away. I understand poking fun at someone’s job when they tell you what it is, but seriously? It seemed a bit extreme to just immediately hate on not only the career field I was going into, but then on me as well. 

Another time I had a couple of guys make some sexual comments to me and I had to walk away, but that got me thinking, too. These people somehow thought it was acceptable to say those things to me. What happened to manners? To respecting people and their opinions? Even the passive aggressive Minnesota behavior would have been better than that. 

But I’m also not saying that people shouldn’t feel free to speak what is on their minds and how they feel about things, that’s an important human right. I also recognize that I was in a bar, and folks may not have been completely sober. While that may provide some level of excuse, it doesn’t make the behavior right.

Reflecting on that made me realize that I get yelled at (maybe not “yelled,” but at least criticized) when I work as a journalist. Not in Waseca, but when I worked for the Minnesota Daily. On numerous occasions, people tried to tell me that I said something completely wrong or that I was obviously not a good journalist because I didn’t have all the facts. Those people are entitled to their opinions, but I know that what I included in my story was true because it was information I had gotten from credible sources and that no, it wasn’t my fault. But harsh comments like those can still be a bit jarring to a beginning journalist. 

I am not sharing this to gain pity or to show you how bad things can be. I only ask myself if this is a good thing or a bad thing that people like to speak so loudly about what is on their mind, even if they know it might be hurtful. As someone who does not usually like confrontation and cares about people's feelings, I shy away from saying rude things, especially directly to people. Although thinking about it, I guess saying it to their face is better than saying it behind their back. 

My Determination: “Cruelty does not make a person dishonest, the same way bravery does not make a person kind.” - Veronica Roth, Insurgent