'I wish we'd been given more time'

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING

I was on the TV show “Hoarders” once, but I can’t tell you what happened.

Why not?

I don’t want to give anything away.

 

DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. We weren’t in the eye of the storm. We were in the nose of the tornado. No damage done here, but I wish we’d been given more time between the last blizzard warning and the first tornado warning.

 

I felt as if I were traveling 35,000 feet high at 500 mph, wishing I were in a plane, while seated in an airport waiting for another flight. Three house sparrows landed near me and fed on the detritus left by humans. I watched them until they flew away. Their flight was earlier than mine.

 

I was happy to be last in line at a church potluck. Someone must be last. The deviled eggs would be nothing more than a faint memory by the time I neared the food. The world bends each day. It doesn’t always bend my way.

 

THE PLATTE RIVER

I worked along the Platte River near Kearney, Nebraska. The waterway’s name comes from the French word “platte,” meaning “flat.” In 1889, Bill Nye wrote about the Platte: “It has a very large circulation, but very little influence. It covers a good deal of ground, but is not deep. In some places it is a mile wide and three-quarters of an inch deep.” “A mile wide and an inch deep” is used to describe people with superficial knowledge.

 

THOSE THRILLING DAYS OF YESTERYEAR

As a boy, I was never hungry, I was starving. My mother tossed me a cold potato to eat. My father enjoyed the musical stylings of Little Jimmie Dickens, who sang, “Take An Old Cold Tater And Wait.”

 

A cold potato represents a quick, reliable and filling nourishment, which provides sustenance while waiting for a meal.

 

I’VE LEARNED

On May 1-3, 2013, Ellendale, Minnesota reported a snowfall of 17.3 inches when I shoveled snow while barefoot and wearing a T-shirt and shorts.

 

I spoke at the Friends of Minnesota Barns Annual Meeting at Oliver Kelley Farm in Elk River, and learned that in 1987, nearly 70,000 historic barns were standing in Minnesota; by 2000 there were fewer than 52,000. In 2024, an estimated 39,000 remain. Preservation Iowa says Iowa once had over 200,000 barns, with approximately 60,000 remaining.

 

Some people still mistake Superman for a bird or a plane.

 

MSP Airport water refill stations were used 9.1 million times in 2025, reducing an estimated 780 pounds of single-use bottles every day.

 

BAD JOKE DEPARTMENT

"Waiter, there's a funny film on this soup!" "What did you expect—Citizen Kane?"

 

NATURE NOTES

I was up at the whipcrack of dawn. Birdsong spilled into the morning. It’s spring training for male birds. When there is music on my doorstep, I’m not on Bourbon Street. I’m listening to the morning chorus. Not all are morning birds. Crows are vocal before alarm-clock time, opening their day with conversation. Robins call at first light. I stayed in a hotel with a parking lot so well-lit that a robin serenaded guests most of the night. Some might grumble about that cheery singing before the caffeine has kicked in, but the dawn chorus delights me. The reasons for the songs are the need for continual reminders of territorial ownership, an endless advertisement for mates, and to proclaim survival. Birds don't swipe right or left—they sing to find a mate. Why sing so early? Sound travels better at dawn than later in the day, and there is less competing noise. Who wants to sing in competition with a lawn mower? Early morning is a poor time to feed, as the light makes hunting difficult, and insect prey can become inactive during the morning chill. I listened to a brown thrasher, and I could almost hear Perry Como crooning, “Oh! It’s a good day for singing a song, And it’s a good day for moving along. Yes, it’s a good day, how could anything go wrong? A good day from morning till night!” Dusk brings out more territorial singing than mate enticing. Catbirds, cardinals, robins, brown thrashers, owls and great crested flycatchers add their spirited voices to an evening's soundtrack.

 

MEETING ADJOURNED

“Have compassion for everyone you meet, even if they don't want it. What seems conceit, bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone.”—Miller Williams.