The June bride vs the forever bride

There’s a line from the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers that goes, “Oh, they say when you marry in June, you’re a bride all your life, and the bridegroom who marries in June gets a sweet-heart for a wife.” Well, I have been thinking about weddings a lot recently. It isn’t simply because it’s June. It’s not even because I just conducted a wedding. No, I have been thinking a lot about weddings, and brides, and grooms recently, because for the past few weeks we have been hearing readings from the book of Revelation in our Sunday services.

In Revelation, St. John sees a vision: “And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” (Rev. 21:2 ESV) Toward the close of the book we can read these Words, “The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.” (Rev 22:17 ESV)

 

Who is being beckoned to “come?” Well the “Bride” longs for the “Groom.” And who is this Groom? Why, it is none other than Christ Himself. But if Christ is the Groom, well then who is this “new Jerusalem” – this Bride of Christ? Scripture reveals this as well. The Church is the Bride of Christ (Ephesians 5). And who is this Church? The Church consists of all of the faithful (past, present, and future) – all who wait with eager anticipation for the return of Christ in glory, and the consummation of the life of the world to come. The Church is Christ’s forever Bride. Like a June bride and her groom, the Church longs to be united to her true love, Christ Jesus our Savior…or should I have said that the other way around?

 

In Ephesians chapter 5, God reveals that the holy estate of marriage between a husband and his wife is actually a holy analogy of sorts for the mysterious union between Christ and His Church. Christ and His Church is the reality that the analogy of marriage is meant to reflect.

As such, the reality is that Christ laid aside His own heavenly glory and the joys of heaven in order to be united with us in the flesh. This shows us men who have not been blessed with the gift of celibacy that we too should lay aside our own pride and vain attempts at glory. We should “man up” by committing to and marrying a bride of our own, becoming one flesh with her. Likewise, just as Christ sacrificed His own wellbeing for the good of His bride, that same self-sacrifice should be reflected in how husbands love and cherish their wives. Furthermore, just as Christ did this for the good of the Church “while we were still sinners,” (Romans 5), so too a husband is called to do all of this not simply when he feels like it, or when he thinks his wife deserves it, but even and especially when it’s hardest to do and when she doesn’t deserve it. Why? Because that is what Christ did for us, and we are to be imitators of Christ.

 

In the same vein, just as the Church is called to be united in purpose and mission with Christ and His loving will, a wife is called to be united in purpose and mission with her husband and his will. Yes, I know it may sound out of touch with the times, but a wife is called to show honor to her husband and unity of purpose with him, even as we see Christ honoring our heavenly Father and submitting Himself to the Father’s will. He did not simply do this when it was easy, but even when He wished there was any other way.

 

Yes, in the garden of Gethsemane, as our Lord sweat blood – as His betrayer and accusers were marching up the hillside to arrest Him, Jesus sorrowfully prayed for the Father to give Him a way out. Yet, He humbly prayed, “Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22). In the same way, a wife is called to imitate Christ by letting her needs and desires be known, and then submitting to the will of her husband.

 

This reflects the picture of how the Bride of Christ acts in faith by the power of the Holy Spirit, following the will of Christ her Groom in humble obedience. The Church faithfully follows Christ, because Christ is faithful and true. Yes, He faithfully obeyed the Fathers will by laying down His life for the sake of His Bride. Ah, but there’s the rub. Other than Christ, all men (myself included) are far from perfect.

 

A husband will fail his wife in all kinds of big and little ways every day. Does this exempt the wife from submitting to her husband as the Church submits to Christ? In a word, no. As I said above, the husband is called to cherish his wife and love her by giving himself up for her, even when he doesn’t feel like it and she doesn’t deserve it. So too, the wife is to humbly and willingly unite herself to the will of her husband, even when she doesn’t feel like it and her husband doesn’t deserve it.

 

On that note, it is VERY important that men and women use discernment in choosing a spouse who will not make this self-sacrifice and submission to one another overly burdensome. Our sins, our pride, our stubbornness….they can make life with one another more of a nightmare than a dream. And this is where we need to look to Christ once again. Christ loved us while we were still far from Him in our sin. He did the work of forgiving our sins and calling us to Himself. Knowing the love and forgiveness of Christ for us, husbands and wives need to forgive first…seek reconciliation first… love first. That is what it means to be imitators of Christ.