Michigan Bluebird Society Spring Festival

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

  Grandpa, can you make the sound of a frog?

 

  I could do that, but why?

 

  Because Mom says when you croak, we’re going to Disney World.

 

Driving by Bruce’s drive

 I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. It was 43°. At least it wasn’t 42°. It was so nice that another neighbor had stopped swearing at the weather report. I was driving down the highway, moving at the speed limit, yet traveling faster than most people in history had ever traveled.

 

  I led tours to Costa Rica. We ate beans and rice for most meals. That’s not completely true. Sometimes we ate rice and beans. I washed it down with fruit. Pineapple gives every meal a shine.

 

  I spoke at the Michigan Bluebird Society’s Spring Bluebird Festival in Ann Arbor recently. I met with a long-time friend from Ohio for breakfast at a Bob Evans restaurant. The eatery had a comfortable red-barn vibe and a value menu. We had no beans or rice. The food was great and the company was better.

 

  I watched a man on a moving sidewalk in the Detroit airport hold hands with a woman walking on the stationary floor alongside the conveyor system. He took few steps while she took many on the shared journey. He exited the travelator in a sweet synchronization with her walk. They continued holding hands as they proceeded to the next walk. I don’t know the backstory, but I’ll bet it was a dandy.

 

I’ve learned

  Dick Van Dyke, the legendary actor and comedian, turned 100 on December 13. The beloved performer credits his remarkable longevity to his positive outlook and never getting angry.

 

  The Yankees’ Aaron Judge became the first reigning MLB Most Valuable Player to strike out four times in an Opening Day game. I hope he maintained a positive attitude and avoided anger.

 

  I talked early in my life. My first word was charcuterie, but nobody knew what that meant.

  My Very Elegant Mother Just Sat Upon Nine Porcupines. That phrase was a classic mnemonic device used to remember the order of the planets (Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto) from the Sun. The first letter of each word corresponded to the first letter of a planet. Then Pluto was demoted. Now it’s My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles.

 

  WalletHub compared the 50 states across 40 key indicators of stress that ranged from average hours worked per week to the personal bankruptcy rate to the share of adults getting adequate sleep. Louisiana, Kentucky and New Mexico are the most stressed. The least stressed states are South Dakota, Utah and Minnesota. Iowa is the 41st most stressed state.  https://wallethub.com/edu/most-stressful-states/32218

 

Bad jokes department

  What do you call an elephant the circus no longer needs? Irrelephant.

 

  I was proud of my cultural heritage until I found out that my great-grandfather was from Transylvania. Now I can't even look at myself in the mirror.

 

  I’m frightened by random letters.

 

  UR?

 

  Stop it!

 

  IC.

 

Nature notes

  I saw oak and ironwood trees clinging to their dead, brown leaves. This retention of dead plant matter is called marcescence. The new spring growth eventually dislodges these dead leaves.

 

 I watched a wild turkey tom strut around, trying to impress hens. He thought he was all that because he had a bourbon named after him. Wild Turkey is a brand of Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey produced in, oddly enough, Kentucky. The tom shook his fanned tail because he was a mover and a shaker. A wild turkey can run up to 25 mph and fly 55 mph. How smart is a turkey? It depends on who is giving the test. Their algebra skills are lacking.

 

  I love hearing the chickadee call its name. That’s an onomatopoeic name. Other birds that do that include the killdeer, eastern phoebe, eastern wood-peewee, eastern whip-poor-will, Chuck-will's-widow and northern bobwhite. An imagination like one used to name the constellations is helpful in hearing what words a bird is saying, even if it doesn’t know it’s speaking our language. The blue jay calls “jay” and some human ears insist a crow says “crow” instead of “caw.”

 

 Rooster pheasants might be heard crowing throughout the day all year round, but mostly at dawn and dusk in spring and summer. A rapid beating of the wings often follows a rooster's loud crow. Roosters tend to cackle when they fly. It seems to me they crow more frequently when the skies are clear, and there’s little or no wind.

 

Meeting adjourned

  Make life easier for others. Be kind.