A nice meal for two

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING

I’m looking for a nice meal for two.

Taking the wife out for a romantic dinner, huh?

No, I’m looking for a nice meal for two dollars.

 

DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. April 9 looked like a beautiful day through a window. I had attended a funeral and visited an eye doctor. It proved to be jacket-carrying weather. Not cold enough to wear one. The weather was cool, but I was cool with that. It was windy, but I could put rocks in my pocket if I needed to. I blame the shower I’d taken. That volley of pulsating water had apparently washed away all my good sense. My wife and I headed to watch a grandson play baseball at 5:30. We made it to the game, which turned out to be a second April Fool’s Day. The pleasant day became colder and windier, giving us rain to enjoy before it snowed. Graupel (popcorn snow) fell. It’s a mix of snow crystals and ice, resembling tiny, soft hail pellets. I felt as if I were on the Endurance during Sir Ernest Shackleton's failed attempt to make the first land crossing of Antarctica. The bleachers were as hard as diamonds. A couple of other grandparents stopped to say hello before leaving early in the game. His parting words were, “We should have stayed in Florida.”

 

Family is what keeps me from wintering in Florida.

 

AT A LOSS

I looked at the ring finger on my left hand. I’d lost my wedding ring. I’d walked all around the Taylor Center on the campus of Minnesota State—Mankato on a frigid day several years back. I’d lost considerable weight without trying to. My slimmer, cold finger let the ring slip off. I retraced my steps, looking for that ring to no avail. I contacted everyone who might have had a lost ring turned in to them. No luck. I haven’t replaced the ring. How could I? It’s irreplaceable.

 

I’VE LEARNED

I asked for a cup of hot black tea. The server said they had English Breakfast and Earl Grey tea. That was an example of a good cup, bad cup.

 

Farmington is the first official incorporated city in the state of Iowa.

 

By the time Dorothy made it back to Kansas, Auntie Em had rented her room to a flying monkey starring in a series on Netflix.

 

If you’re too cheap to buy a treadmill, please remember that the grocery store won’t let you walk on the checkout conveyor unless you buy something.

 

I took a statistics course in college and learned quickly what my chances of getting an A were in that class. Slim and none.

 

Never lend a seed catalog to someone who still uses an outhouse.

 

BAD JOKES DEPARTMENT

I bought a pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

 

What is it called when a banana eats another banana? Cannibananabalism.

 

My wife said I could be an idiot sometimes. It’s nice of her to give me permission.

 

NATURE NOTES

Red-tailed hawks plopped down on posts and poles. I wonder when a post becomes a pole. The terms are used interchangeably. A post is generally shorter, while a pole often serves as a structural element in buildings or utilities.

 

I’m sure they’d planned the journey behind crows’ doors. I watched five crows fly this way and that way in a meandering flight. "As the crow flies" is used to describe the distance between two points, ignoring roads and obstacles.

 

Birds teach us to listen by providing a delightful component to learning. I listened to the cheerful and complex warbling of a house finch and its backup singers—chorus frogs. Gophers and moles break through the grass ceiling, and Siberian squill pushes through the fallen leaves and reaches for the sun.

 

Deer have antlers, not horns. Bucks have antlers to fight with other bucks for dominance. Antlers are football helmets that protect heads during battles. Antlers are shed each year, while horns continue growing. An exception is the North American pronghorn (not an antelope), which has horns it sheds annually. Horns are found on antelope, bison, sheep and other members of the Bovidae family. Deer, elk and moose are part of the Cervidae family. Deer shed their antlers annually, due to hormonal changes and changing photoperiods. Shedding antlers could be a way deer conserve energy, as they’re cumbersome and resource-intensive.

 

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY

“Gratitude is the single most important ingredient to living a successful and fulfilled life.”—Jack Canfield. Be kind.