Advice for helping at-risk youth

Surveys and research among school-age students show that between 35 and 40 percent of them talk about and consider suicide. “I know that seems high,” says licensed therapist Samantha Boyer, who regularly works with school-aged students. “But it’s what’s been reported.”

In addition, rates of suicide attempts among young people are not only rising, they are spreading downward. Boyer explains that, in the past, suicide attempts were most prevalent among people 18 to 30 years of age.

“Those numbers have been expanding even down into the middle school years,” says Boyer. “The rates of attempts and completion have been rising.”

It is well known, of course, that adolescence is a tempestuous time when students are moving from childhood into early adulthood. The resulting changes lead to uncertainty, confusion, and vulnerability. “Some become very anxious or depressed. Many of them have experienced some type of trauma.”

At the same time, their classmates and companions are prone to thoughtless actions. “They don’t actually recognize the impact of their words and behaviors,” says Boyer. Social media can also be a contributing factor, since users are often more likely to say cruel or unkind things in an anonymous setting than they would face to face.

For adolescents who feel bullied, Boyer shares this advice: “Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and keep them. You don’t have to be ‘friends’ with someone who makes you feel bad. Block them from your contact list, then leave them blocked.”

She also suggests, “Take breaks from social media. Interact in real time with people who care about you.”

She warns adults that adolescents are unlikely to tell them about any self-destructive thoughts. “They have a mindset that, if they say anything, they will be locked away,” she explains. 

“The first step is to be vigilant,” Boyer advises parents. She suggests that caregivers and family members watch for changes in usual behavior, and especially for any tendency to self isolate.  They should also truly consider any statements about self harm or feeling useless, rather than dismissing them as “just a phase.”

“Be present. Ask questions. Get at specifics,” advises Boyer. Parents should also consider asking to see their children’s social media accounts and the messages that are being sent and received. “Have open and safe conversations with your children. Do what you can to curb harmful messages before they get out of hand.”

She also wants caregivers to know “they don’t have to take this on alone.

“There is no stigma in reaching out for help,” she says. She also suggests any discomfort adults might feel about contacting a mental health agency should be balanced against the pain they would experience if “the worst” were to happen.

Boyer shares that a brand new resource has recently been created. Caregivers and others can reach out to the number “988,” in much the same way they could use “911” in another type of emergency. The number can be reached by telephone call or texting 24 hours a day.

She explains that the line is for use at any time. Those considering suicide can call to share their feelings and fears to be “talked down.” People who are concerned about others can make contact for advice and to learn about available resources.

Another resource is Crisis Response for Southeast Minnesota. This consortium of regional mental health providers also offers over-the-phone counseling, and will even go so far as to send a team to callers’ homes. Crisis Response can be reached at 844-274-7472 or online at www.crisis2southeastmn.com.