Appalling childhood abuse motivates success, advocacy

While Waseca’s Mikhail Rostislavovich is active in a wide array of organizations and initiatives, he feels connected to one of them in a deeply personal way. A central pillar of the National Exchange Club of America is taking steps to prevent child abuse–so much so that the organization sponsors an extensive network of “Centers for Family Unity.” One such center located in Owatonna serves Dodge, Freeborn, Steele, Rice and Waseca counties.

President of the Waseca Exchange Club, Rostislavovich recently appeared before both the Waseca County Board of Commissioners and the Waseca City Council asking that they follow a national initiative and proclaim April as “Child Abuse Prevention Month,” encouraging citizens to expand their awareness and action toward reducing child abuse and show their support by wearing or displaying blue ribbons.

During his presentation he stated, “It shouldn’t hurt to be a child.”

Rostislavovich is horrifyingly familiar with the topic.

Even now, at age 70, he says abuse he experienced from ages 6 to 17 continues to affect how he sees himself and his place in the world.

Taken in by a family in infancy, he did not know until early adulthood that he had spent his early years as an unofficial “foster” child. What he did know was that the man who claimed to be his father abused him to a level that can be officially labeled “torture.”

During a recent meeting of the Waseca Exchange Club, Rostislavovich read a speech he wrote more than a decade ago to share with emotionally and physically abused children taking part in a support event named “Royal Family Kids’ Camps.” The camps brought together foster children who, among other shortfalls in their lives, had never had their birthday celebrated and never received a birthday gift.

As someone with the same childhood circumstance who had gone on to build a successful life, Rostislavovich was encouraged by then-governor Tim Pawlenty and his wife Mary, who was a family court judge, to speak to the group. He read his speech from  the “Royal Family” camp for local Exchange Club members on April 8. Before beginning, he disclosed that even recalling the early circumstances he describes causes emotional turmoil for him.

He went on to tell of heartrending experiences, including having a cellophane-wrapped double-edged razor placed in his mouth and being told to “chew.”  At the emergency room when asked why razor blades would be in a child’s mouth, his “father’s” answer was, “The kid must have thought it was candy.”

The abuse Rostislavovich received was so horrifying that he described being grateful when he was locked in a solid plywood box: Once inside, he was not being fiercely intimidated or physically abused.

“I was battered, torn, ravaged, shaken and raped,” he said of his childhood years. 

His right thumb was nearly completely dismembered in a meat slicer; it was reattached, but to this day is smaller and less agile than the one on the left.

A stainless steel pot full of hot coffee was shoved inside his shirt, badly burning the skin on his chest and arm while streaming coffee caused further burns. 

Told he needed to be “quicker,” he was sent to walk eight blocks to school in -20 degree temperatures without any coat, hat or mittens; he was given boots, but no stockings. As his teachers warmed him and noted he had experienced frostbite, they asked about his winter clothing. Because he was so afraid of the repercussions of telling the truth, He remembers replying “I lost them.” 

While being told “You need to learn to listen,” he had his head and ears beaten so badly from both sides that his eardrums were ruptured and his ears bled. The incident led to an emergency room visit after which the physician submitted a report of suspected abuse to a social services agency.  The resulting investigation prompted the family to pack up suddenly and move–an avoidance technique that, over Rostislavovich’s childhood, led to 11 moves across a number of states.

Along with uncounted emergency room visits were 18 stays in intensive care.

His “father” even once placed a .38 revolver in Mikhail’s mouth and instructed him to pull the trigger. When he refused to do so, he punched him and claimed “You couldn’t do anything right if you had to.”

Though his “mother” did nothing to stop the abuse, other adults tried to help. Rostislavovich remembers staying with his grandmother. He states in his “Royal Camp” speech that her gentle ways and visits to her church allowed him to find faith that God exists and would look out for him.

Thanks to an anonymous donor, he was enrolled at a private boarding school beginning in first grade, reducing the amount of time spent in the abusive environment to only the summer months and occasional holiday breaks. While away, he encountered kind treatment and a sense of safety, eventually coming to know an area farm family whose members treated him as families should.

Although earlier attempts to end the custodial rights of his first parents had failed, “finally God and the courts released me from the bondage of 17 years,” as he neared adulthood. Soon after, the family he had adopted during his high school years officially adopted him, allowing him to spend his time since then as a member of a loving family.

“To this day,” his speech shared with the Kids’ Camp participants, “I bear the scars of those early years, both physically and in my heart.

“Those days did not defeat me. If anything, I grew more robust and more determined that I would show myself and those around me that I was more than a victim of childhood torture.

“By the grace of God and all who loved me,” his speech concludes, “I would be sent out into a world far from darkness.”

Rostislavovich went on to join the staff of presidents and governors, interacting with world leaders and playing significant roles in historic events before eventually retiring to Waseca. He tells that his active participation in so many local organizations and initiatives is based on a commitment he made during his career that, after retiring, he would spend as many hours volunteering as he had spent working for pay.