Feeling sick yet determined, as always

I fear I jinxed myself. 

 

It was not a week ago that I mentioned out loud that I have yet to get sick after moving here. My boyfriend has been sick a couple of times, but it has been a long time since I’ve been truly sick–I mentioned like a fool. 

 

Sure enough, I fell ill. Well and truly sick. Coughs that are loud and wet and rip a searing pain down the throat, congestion that constantly drains and leaves the head pounding, a fever that can’t tell if it wants to be real or not. Breathing switches from one nostril to the other, while mouth breathing leaves the lips constantly dried. And on top of that, my voice has gotten lower and unrecognizably raspy. 

 

Thankfully, I work from home, so my public interactions are limited. I did have to find a sub to play volleyball in my place, and reschedule a blood donation.  

 

I don’t know what I was sick with, but my guess is the flu. I never bothered to walk the block to CVS pharmacy for a flu shot this year, so being sick is my fault. Although I did hear that the scientists got the flu strain wrong this year in the flu shot, so maybe it's sort of okay I forgot to go get it. 

 

When I am sick, I still feel determined to do everything I can, though. Before I got truly sick, I still went to the gym. Even when I was fighting a fever, I felt an urge to go for a walk since I had been on the couch all day. But my shuffle to the bathroom told me that would not be a good idea. 

 

I once had bronchitis in high school, but it was Indoor weekend with the marching band and I was not missing out. So with a fever of 103 degrees,  I donned my marching uniform and tried to hit all my spots on the gym floor, although I was incapable of blowing air through my clarinet at the same time. Another time I was very sick and yet determined not to miss class; I must have looked awful–the lunch lady even asked me if I was okay. I guess you could say I tended to push the limits when it came to my health.

 

But it’s different now, after COVID. I would still be willing to go out and do things while I am sick, but I have more care not to get others sick. I don’t want weird stares and evil looks tossed my way when they hear my covered coughs. And I for sure don’t want to put anyone in danger healthwise. 

 

So I stayed home, twiddled my thumbs, tried to figure out which nostril I wanted to breathe through, and binge watched tv shows. The second part of the Bridgerton season came out and I was obsessed — I inhaled those four episodes in one sitting. Who doesn’t love a period piece romance story filled with drama and tension? 

 

My Determination: “Love is always a thing to be proud of. The world needs more of it.” —Sophie, Bridgerton