What rhymes with orange?

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING

My doctor told me to eat more jelly doughnuts.

Are you sure the doctor told you to do that?

Well, he said, "Cut back on the ice cream," but I knew what he meant.

 

DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. The treachery of disguise is inherent in chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies. Each one pretends to be the other. If you like chocolate chip cookies, you'll choose an oatmeal raisin cookie. If you like oatmeal raisin cookies, the cookie chosen will be a chocolate chip.

 

It’s the time of the year when everyone needs a tax break, and my grandmother said she was going to the poor farm. Local governments, often at the county level, created poor farms to address their responsibility to the poor. Many people—due to age, disability or circumstance—needed care. Poor farms in Iowa were generally phased out during the mid-20th century. Grandma never had to move to one.

 

I’VE LEARNED

The average U.S. family of four tosses out $2,913 worth of food ($728 per person) each year, according to a 2025 EPA report. This accounts for 11% of a total annual household food budget and is nearly double the cost of household food waste ($1,500) in 2010.

 

The paper towels by the gas pumps are there to wipe away the tears after a fill-up.

 

Wind turbines typically require a minimum cut-in wind speed of 6–9 mph to generate power. They reach maximum output at 25–35 mph and shut down at 55 mph to avoid damage.

 

The U.S. and New Zealand are the only two countries that allow drug companies to advertise prescription drugs directly to consumers.

 

Wyatt Earp once sold gold bricks that were rocks painted yellow.

 

A study conducted by Legacy Healing Center combined measures that included smoking, exercise, fruit and vegetable intake, overdose deaths, sleep, obesity, diabetes, poor mental health, park access, hospital ratings, air pollution, insurance coverage, cancer mortality, heart disease mortality, alcohol consumption, and health-related search interest to determine which states were in fine fettle. Utah was the healthiest state, helped by the lowest smoking rate in the study at 6.0%, and the lowest alcohol consumption at 1.35 gallons per person per year. Colorado comes in second, driven by the lowest physical inactivity rate and the lowest obesity rate. Vermont takes third thanks to first-place finishes for vegetable intake, sufficient sleep, and low diabetes. Minnesota is fourth with the lowest heart disease mortality rate in the ranking, along with strong results for sleep and physical activity. Iowa was 25th and Wisconsin 29th. West Virginia was last just behind Kentucky and Louisiana.

 

Humpty Dumpty did all his own stunts.

 

BAD JOKES DEPARTMENT

What happens when you're naked in public and the elevator doesn't work? You will encounter stares.

 

My son asked, "What rhymes with orange?" I replied, "No, it doesn't."

 

Our township lost its electric power. The residents were delighted.

 

NATURE NOTES

The feather report was for a 99% chance of common grackles. That report nailed it.

 

It’s nearly impossible to describe a Baltimore oriole male without using the word “orange.”

French fry gulls (ring-billed) flew toward a fast-food restaurant.

 

I watched a robin picking worms, paring its world to its essence. Northern house wrens brought hustle and bustle to the yard. These joyful songsters might be smaller than their names. I walked at Myre-Big Island State Park with a friend from Grand Junction, Colorado, and looked at spring ephemerals, tiny flowers that emerge in early spring and disappear when the tree canopies fill with leaves. Hope in bloom.

 

I watched trumpeter swans in a blackened farm field, standing out sharply like a freshly painted white line on a dark highway. Many bird species have a brood patch—a vascularized patch on their breasts where they had plucked feathers to provide warm skin to apply to the eggs. Swans don’t have a brood patch. Trumpeter swans incubate eggs with their webbed feet.

 

Several species exhibit anting behavior wherein birds rub ants on their feathers and skin. I see it regularly in blue jays and grackles. A common belief is that anting controls parasites, such as biting lice and feather mites, which live in a bird’s plumage. Another theory is that, during anting, the ants rid themselves of their formic acid, allowing the birds to eat them without harm. The parasite removal makes sense to me because I’ve seen birds performing the same actions when using cigarette filters and mothballs.

 

MEETING ADJOURNED

“The best way to be happy is to be kind to someone.”―Debasish Mridha.