Painful loss: I am not on vacation

I was supposed to be on vacation this week. My plans were undone when I realized my health would neither let me sit in a car for extended periods nor go on any extended walks.

 

At 28 years old I’m not supposed to have this much pain.

 

I threw out my back picking up a frying pan last Tuesday. Even though I was taking care to bend with my knees, the motion of reaching out with my arms to lift the pan caused my lower back to slip out again. It still hadn’t recovered from the previous injuries going back to January. 

 

I’m angry, in pain, and out $1,500 in non-refundable Air BNB costs. My friend Madi and I, after much discussion, had decided we would go to Wisconsin and Indiana. We intended to visit a handful of monasteries. Madi hadn’t stopped talking about her desire to visit said places for months.

 

We spent hours researching where to stay and found two unbelievably nice places at decent prices. The plan was to visit the monasteries along with the National Park in Indiana, and any other scenic places–museums, parks, and the like.

 

When I realized my joints and muscles would not let me take the trip, I encouraged Madi to go without me, then spent the next couple days essentially motionless on my couch, leaving only to get to my acupuncture and chiropractor appointments. 

 

Madi decided she would do the first leg of the trip and arrived safely Monday evening. She sent me photos and we spoke on the phone for about an hour during her drive. The monastery was beautiful but the cabin we rented, Madi tells me, “was filled with freaky African and Indian masks.” She also inserted a crying “emoji face.”

 

I wish I had more positive events to write about in life this week.With the help of Ken at Heartland Healthcare, I have found a solution that helps me get through the day without too much discomfort. I have an appointment early in the week to see my primary care provider to refer me to a specialist for my GI issues, also known as the burning pain in my left side.  

 

Leaving out  details about several frustrating incidents and various time-consuming protocols, I don’t understand why the people I keep asking for help from in the medical field don’t help. They offer a potential idea for what might be wrong, and when that isn’t correct, I get the sense they don’t know what to do with me–leaving me in a sort of limbo. I felt defeated this week, all the while in lots and lots of pain. 

 

I know my story is not unique. Everyone faces adversity in various forms. To the readers who have suggested potential ideas and paths forward, I wish I had just called those phone numbers and seen those providers sooner. My faith in the healthcare system back then was not as eroded as it is now. I expected to find help faster. 

 

Locally, Ken has been great. Michelle at Swanson Acupuncture has been very good along with the folks at Growing Roots. They’re the only ones I have seen who I feel have actually done everything in their power to help. Really, as I think about it, my unproductive conversations with one lady in scheduling in Albert Lea are a huge part of my loss of confidence. Three different times I had to beg her to do her job and she didn’t want to. In one case, I simply wanted a phone number because the people who were supposed to call to schedule my injection, didn’t. The next time she lied to my face when I arrived late for an appointment. I asked her to please see if there was an opening or cancellation. She pretended to look at her computer and told me no. The next moment my physical therapist walked out and said she was really glad to see me. She then said the patient ahead of me cancelled, so she could see me. So as much complaining as I have done, it’s really just that one person who I have had bad interactions with at Mayo Clinic in Albert Lea. Everyone else, truly, has been very kind. 

 

On a lighter note, I got my butt kicked in cribbage this week. Dad won 12 games and I only won six. It started very badly for me as I fell down seven games to one, before winning five of the next six to pull within two on the week. But dad skunked me three times this week and pulled away.

 

This week’s cribbage tallies updated from last week total:

Dad 484 wins, 73 skunks

Eli 430 wins, 44 skunks, 1 double skunk

2026 totals, Eli 93 wins, 5 skunks, Dad 71 wins, 12 skunks