Considering the path to happiness, success

My friend Madi reports she had an excellent time on the trip we planned together, but then I could not attend due to my back injury. She visited four monasteries and aside from the “freaky African and Indian Masks” at the cabin, everything was “fantastic.” Madi also visited a museum of dinosaurs as she loves them. Another small adventure, she got pulled over for driving 55 in a 35 mph zone. The officer gave her a warning. When she told me she got pulled over, I asked her if it was for driving too slowly, as has happened to her before. As she told me about the trip, she mentioned more than once she was sad I could not attend. 

 

Though I’m sorry to have missed the trip and to have disappointed Madi, staying home seems to have been the right decision for my body. More than one night this week, pain kept me awake until long after sunrise. I am managing as best as I can. I have appointments this week and next and again the following week. Everything takes so long. 

 

I believe there are probably some great lessons I am learning along the way as a result of these pains. The Word tells us it brings us closer to God when we are in pain. Although this is true, I really, really don’t want to hurt anymore. 

 

This past week has been filled with organizing our Activities Posters and Calendars for the upcoming NRHEG school year, and Activities Posters for Waseca’s. Many phone calls and instructions were given out. 

 

I had dinner with my friends Paul and Heather Sunday evening. Heather commented that she would struggle not having someone to go to when there was a problem. I do enjoy being the person in charge. I commented that I simply fix the problem or hire someone to fix the problem. Growing up, I found it hard to work for someone else unless I knew they were smarter or at least more knowledgeable about the job. My dad, after all, fired me numerous times. He now will be the first to tell you I am a better businessman than he is. As a young person, or any person for that matter, it is frustrating knowing or believing I know what is the right choice and not having the opportunity to implement it. In business, with my parents, I just ignored them and did what I knew was right. They were my parents; I knew once it worked out, it would be fine. And if it didn’t, it would also be fine, because they love me and treated me with love.

 

 I try to take that mentality and apply it to life. I focus on kindness and helpfulness, and anticipate they will treat me the same way. Also, it just makes life better. I don’t generally regret decisions, feel bad for being overly generous (although sometimes that happens but that feeling fades), or second guess myself. 

 

Sometimes I feel foolish looking back on choices made in romantic relationships. 

 

My dad told me this week, when I asked him how he decided to marry my mother: “Love at first sight.

 

”And she knew it,” was his response.

 

He tells me every time the conversation has come up, that even though the relationship ended, entering it was the best decision of his life, because it led to me and my siblings. 

 

My former lady friend and I stopped seeing each other back in December. I don’t know how other people decide to end relationships, but I felt the focus in our interactions seemed to be about satisfying only one of us, leaving me feeling my needs were being overlooked. Does that make me selfish? 

 

The simplest summary is that I was unhappy.

 

I didn’t ask my dad what ultimately led to the divorce between him and my mother, but I have heard both sides of that story. Everyone was unhappy. 

 

Oh, and for those who ask, Madi and I are simply friends. I know that the grandmothers who read my column like to discuss my welfare; thank you for taking an interest in my life. 

 

I am not in a hurry to get married and have kids. It has been said picking a spouse is the most important decision a person will make. I have frequently told myself not to “settle” for someone who is simply convenient. Others echo that sentiment when the matter comes up.

 

If I had more exciting news to report in my life, I would, but aside from my life, my wandering thoughts are all I have to share with readers this week. 

 

The game store and newspapers go well.

 

It has been a unique experience to buy my first newspaper using all of my money as a down payment, then start a second paper, the Pioneer, using all of the money I had saved for two years, and then a game store, once again using all the money I had saved over the course of two years. 

 

Back to my friend Heather. She also said she couldn’t take the stress associated with being “the person at the top.”

 

I like it. It is, believe it or not, less stressful, knowing my life’s decisions are in my own hands. The success of the newspapers and game store is not solely in my hands, but I am the one who makes the decisions that give them the opportunity to thrive. And I trust myself to make the right choices. More importantly, I trusted and continue to trust that readers and advertisers want a local newspaper. For the game store, that sense of community is equally strong. I didn’t take over the store to make money; I did it so the community of people formed around it would continue to have a place. I think small town folks understand that concept really well. I remain incredibly grateful to call here home. 

 

I got the best of Dad this week at cribbage, winning 17 games to his 12. We traded a pair of skunks throughout our week of battles. Numerous games came down to the final point. More than one skunk or possible skunk was decided by a single decision by either player. Great fun was had by all. 

 

This week’s cribbage tally’s updated from last week total:

Dad 496 wins, 75 skunks

Eli 447 wins, 46 skunks, 1 double skunk

2026 totals, Eli 110 wins, 7 skunks, Dad 83 wins, 14 skunks