Exude gratitude

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING

Want to hear your horoscope?

 

Sure, why not?

 

It says, “Your generosity will glow like 10,000 fireflies after you buy pie for everyone in the cafe.”

 

I don’t believe my horoscope says that.

 

Have you always had such deep-seated trust issues?

 

DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I grew up on a farm. That’s why I keep a pitchfork handy just in case I want to relive my youth and lean against one. The forecast was for a chance of precipitation, but the clouds said there was no chance of participation. The day had its complications. Every day does. The day started poorly. My chia pet bit me. Then I went off to the big city for important business. I went to a building about the same size as the big city. I got off the elevator on the 8th floor. I was supposed to get off on the 9th floor. But that’s another story.

 

MEMORIES OF THE BARN DIET

The barn was full of shadows. I was in the hayloft helping a neighbor stack hay. It was stifling hot. Sweating came easy. The neighbor’s little brother was eating crickets. He ate only a couple of them, but he ruined his appetite and ours.

 

WE USED TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS

How far is it to the stadium?

 

It’s 3 miles as the crow flies.

 

How far is it if the crow is walking?

 

I’VE LEARNED

Willful waste makes woeful want.

 

Zyzzyva is the last word in major English reference books like the Oxford English Dictionary and the official Scrabble Player's Dictionary. It’s a group of tropical weevils native to South America. Coined in 1922 by an American scientist named Thomas Lincoln Casey, it was meant to claim the final entry in a dictionary. Its Scrabble value is 73 points.

 

The Trojan Horse came from IKEA.

 

Dolly Parton's Imagination Library has given away over 300 million free books to children worldwide.

 

You don’t have to be a pickle to play pickleball.

 

BAD JOKES DEPARTMENT

I ran out of clean socks, so I piled all my dirty ones on a tray, grabbed my detergent, and headed down a steep hill from my home to the laundromat. As I descended, I slipped and fell. The dirty socks fell to the ground, and the detergent rolled away. I got up slowly, sat down quickly, and watched it go. There I was sittin' on the sock of the tray, watching the Tide roll away.

 

My nephew was in bad shape after his girlfriend dumped him. I bought him a PlayStation and an Xbox. That helped console him.

 

My dog got into our Scrabble game and ate a bunch of lettered tiles. We rushed him to the vet and are waiting. No word yet.

 

NATURE NOTES

In late summer and fall, when a bird molts, it typically grows and replaces its feathers gradually, but occasionally a bird loses all the feathers on its head at once. This is true of blue jays, many of which molt their feathers of the head in synchrony. The result is a bald bird. This baldness lasts for about a week before new feathers replace the molted ones. Pin feathers appear within days, and the head is feathered again within two weeks.

 

I’m on a first-name basis with the yard’s birds. I call the male cardinal “Northern.” I’m a bouncer at the bird feeder. I’m not one to crittersize a squirrel, but I use baffles to discourage squirrels from eating more than their share. It doesn’t always baffle them, so my feeders have become subscription-based to help cover the cost of seed. No subscribers yet. Birds aren’t good at carrying wallets.

 

How common is it for white-tailed deer to give birth to twins? Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and the Illinois DNR found that in 2024, 21% of does had a single fawn, 71% had twins, and 8% triplets. The number is determined by age, nutrition, genetics and habitat quality. Young does giving birth for the first time, typically have one fawn.

 

BirdCast, created by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, is an online resource that combines biological research, community science observations and radar data to forecast the movements of migratory birds. BirdCast shows live maps that track flocks as they travel through. Users can localize the data, letting them zoom in on a county to see estimates of how many birds are migrating. Search BirdCast and see.

 

MEETING ADJOURNED

“When a child gives you a gift, even if it is a rock they just picked up, exude gratitude. It might be the only thing they have to give, and they have chosen to give it to you.”—Dean Jackson. Be kind.