Life is like a box of chocolates

Barb Buker from Personalized Printing called me the other day to compliment the newspaper, among other things. She couldn’t help observing that, in a recent issue, her husband appeared on page two, her brother on another page, and a different family member in yet another spot. She also mentioned we had included three different people she was related to and/or knew. She said I find a way to add “zing” to the paper. I don’t know for sure if that was the word she used, but it delivers the message.

During her comments, I recalled the process of designing that particular newspaper and thinking the jump for the Nativity story, which included Barb’s husband, would be a good jump to go under her “Meet your Neighbor” feature. 

I try very hard to put everything in the paper where it’s supposed to go. When readers peruse the paper they shouldn’t be distracted by extraneous details, or be wondering why a certain story didn’t appear. (Although, if you think something should be in the paper, you should tell me so I can put it there.) 

Those “extraneous” thoughts are for me. That’s my job. My role is to create and lay out a newspaper that’s visually and mentally appealing. A person should see the paper and unconsciously think, “That’s the way it was always supposed to look.”

It’s an art to design something with the intention of, “This is how it was always supposed to be.” 

I enjoy it. 

Speaking of enjoyment and life lessons, I heard these four life lessons today which I'd like to reflect on.

1. Happiness is not the absence of problems. It’s the ability to deal with them.

Some weeks I feel like all I do is juggle problems at the newspaper. I like to say my favorite way to deal with problems is to work really, really hard not to make them. Well, that sounds like a foolproof plan now doesn’t it? 

Growing up, yes growing up– working at the newspaper, my first job was as an editorial assistant. It was my favorite job. Part of that role meant answering the phones. I can’t remember how many people I helped in resolving a frustration. It was a challenge for me. I didn’t have anything to lose, and really, I just wanted the person to be happy. I really wanted them to enjoy the newspaper: If they were upset enough to call, then something we, the newspaper did had upset them. In that moment it was my job to fix it. And, well, my dad was the boss, so I kind of felt like I could say or do whatever I wanted without really asking “permission.” Whether I felt like we should forgive some cost of an ad, or update a subscription, or a myriad of other solutions, I did what I felt was correct. 

I think I did a good job. 

I learned a lot from those experiences and, really, the bad experiences/complaints are not nearly as frequent as they were back then. (My parents, who divorced when I was 1-year-old, started working together when I was 10. Before that my dad was a single parent of 3 raising a family and trying to run a business. You’ll forgive him for not being perfect.) Let your imagination simmer on those experiences for a minute. 

2. Feeling sad after making a decision doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision.

Sometimes, in life, a person has to make difficult choices. I tend to think the best way to respond to any situation is with kindness. Just last week, I was presented with more than one situation, or opportunity, during which I could have reacted out of frustration or anger. Those would not have been the correct reactions. I slept on it. And for one decision, I waited an entire week. I prayed about it, and a few thoughts occurred to me. 

“Turn the other cheek.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to be working with these folks in the community for a long time.” 

So I apologized in one instance and in the other, I told the person I want them to like the product, the newspaper we produce. In order to do so I suggested more communication. “Work together, not apart.” 

3. You’re not stressed because you’re doing too much. You’re stressed because you’re doing too little of what makes you feel most alive. 

I think this lesson speaks for itself. I asked my editor Deb, the other day, if the happiness I still feel every week as I complete the newspaper will fade. She told me, “I don’t think so. You put your heart and soul into it every week.” 

I’ve been putting newspapers together every week since I was 19. This is year number 6. I still feel satisfied every time the newspaper goes to print. I like to say my ultimate goal is to put out a newspaper worth framing on a wall. As long as we continue to strive for that level, I think that happiness and satisfaction will continue.

4. The lesson you struggle with will repeat itself until you learn from it.

I think this is a universal truth. Addicts–and we all have our afflictions–come to mind. Smokers, alcoholics, etc. are obvious examples of this problem. Why do people struggle to change, to grow, to stop bad habits? 

There are a lot of reasons. 

For one, it’s easy to continue to indulge in an addiction or bad habit. It feels good in the moment, even though it’s destructive in the long run.

This is merely an observation. My circle of family and friends has certainly faced battles with addiction and mental health, among other things. It’s part of the reason we try to highlight the struggle of mental health and addiction in the newspaper. I know how real those battles and afflictions are. When it comes to this topic, I’m definitely still learning, still searching for answers which will help. I look forward to continuing to share people’s stories and, as often as possible, of their victories. 

I guess you could say the fight, the search– the story continues for another day. 

“Never regret being a good person to the wrong people. Your behavior says everything about you. And their behavior says enough about them.” - unknown

P.S. - In the infamous words of Al Batt, You never know what someone is going through. Be kind.